


Pillow Talk

by naasad



Series: MBHBAM [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Aftermath of Shovel Talk, Age Difference, Autistic Wash, Canon-typical Cursing, Dialogue Heavy, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Threats of Violence, Trans wash, as befits a proper shovel talk, i didn't even get to the thing about doc, me trying to work as many sarge headcanons as possible in 800 words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 17:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18529774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naasad/pseuds/naasad
Summary: Wash and Sarge talk as they get ready for bed.





	Pillow Talk

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was a bit awkward for me, but next time (if I ever get around to it), there will be a baby, so that should make up for it! Lmk what you think!

“What did John say?” Wash asked, hissing in pain as he tried to get his shirt off.

Sarge grunted, crossing the room to help. “Said he promised not to talk about shovels and thought we could be straight with each other.”

“Fat chance.”

Sarge’s mustache bristled as he smiled, pulling Wash’s shirt off and taking a moment to kiss his husband. “Said I knew you better but he’d still fight for you if he had to.”

Wash groaned. “He didn’t.”

Sarge hummed and pressed a kiss to his neck.

Wash hissed and pushed him away. “Not right now.” He glanced down at his shoulder. “I look like I got mauled by an octopus.”

“You could’ve asked me to stop if you didn’t like it.”

Wash grunted ambiguously.

Sarge chuckled and crawled into bed behind him.

Wash sighed and laid down carefully, propping his head up on his hand. “What else did he say?”

Sarge grinned. “I didn’t let him finish. Reminded him he just got here and caused quite the fuss while he was at it, then said I’d feed him his own testicles if he caused you harm.”

“We’re gonna hurt each other as we get to know each other better.”

“I didn’t say hurt, I said harm.” Sarge ran a hand down David’s side, skimming over the livid bruising. “Caboose said he hugged you.”

“Yeah,” Wash said quietly. “It’s new. Having a big brother again.”

“That’s not what you told me about your time in Freelancer.”

“Oh my god,” Wash groaned, burying his face in his pillow with mortification. “How was I supposed to know the team dad and his demon sister were your kids? There’s the age difference for one-ˮ

“You called me old,” Sarge grumbled, “I’m not that old, just adopted teens as a young man.”

Wash shook his head and ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s short beard. “I hope to God Carolina never finds out.”

“What makes you think she doesn’t already know?”

Wash groaned again, rolling onto his back. “I’m sorry she found out about our marriage.”

Sarge ignored the stab of pain that came with that, he’d long grown used to it. “Couldn’t be avoided.”

Wash hummed and picked up his partner’s left hand, slowly stroking the ring finger, staring at the patch of lighter skin at the base.

“What are you thinking about?”

Wash dropped his hand like it was a hot coal. “Nothing. Nothing important.”

“David.”

Wash sighed. “Is it bad I sometimes get jealous? I don’t want to be like,” he gestured to his head, “and I respect that you’re not ready, but….”

“But?”

“It’s just – you married her, and not just for tax benefits, and you had kids with her, and I want that with you, too.”

“You do?” Sarge nearly flung them both out of the bed with how quickly he bounced to his knees.

Wash shrugged. “Of course, I do. It doesn’t have to be now – like I said, I respect that you’re not ready – but I want that for us.”

“David.” Sarge shook his head.

“Forget it,” Wash said, neutral mask falling carefully into place as he got up out of the bed. “It’s just a thought.”

“I want that, too!” Sarge yelped before his lover could make it out the door.

Wash froze.

Sarge sighed and crossed the room, taking David’s hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “Why do you think I asked you to marry me in the first place?”

Wash scowled. “You literally said it was for tax benefits.”

“Providing a convenient excuse for you in case you weren’t ready! You took it, figured that was the end of it and I should be grateful for what I’ve got.”

“You-ˮ Wash groaned, tipping his head back.

“Are you mad?”

“No. But we have **_got_** to get better about this whole communication thing.”

Sarge laughed. “We can start by you coming back to bed and us talking about this whole ‘having kids’ thing. The others aren’t enough work for you?”

Wash chuckled and let himself be led back to the mattress and cradled. “They are, but I don’t know, I kind of want a baby.”

“Do you want to carry them?”

Wash shrugged. “Not sure if I still can after all the shit we’ve been through. It’s probably something to talk to Grey about. From what I hear, though, there are plenty of kids in need of homes after the Temple of Procreation Incident.”

“Hm,” Sarge pressed a kiss to his husband’s forehead. “All things to think long and hard about. I’m not opposed to either of those ideas. I do like the idea of a little one running around half me and half you though.”

Wash went cross-eyed for a moment as Sarge pressed a finger to his nose, then he froze. “Shit.”

“What?”

“Who on the moon is allowed to babysit?”

Sarge’s eyes went wide. “Fuckballs.”


End file.
